A Decapitated Ear On Toast

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"A Decapitated Ear on Toast"

by: Wes Robert Ward

Something in my eroded mind tells me that I must find\u2026 an ear. Not no ordinary common ear, but a decapitated ear\u2026 somewhat ripped off for what I dreadfully fear\u2026 for I believe it's lying somewhere about here or near.

If I call out, it might hear, but how will it respond for ears have no lips to speak and if they did I'd be afraid of what they might say. Probably call me nasty names and spit ear wax at me\u2026 not my cup of tea.

I looked under my sofa and all I found is a decapitated toe. How it got there I do not know, but it's toenail needed to be trimmed and there was no time for that\u2026 so I fed it to my pussycat.

I looked under my kitchen table and I found a decapitated finger and though I somewhat had to linger, still it is not what I was looking for even though I scratched my nose with it more and then I hung it above my chamber door.

I looked under my bed and found an eyeball looking right at me. I asked, "Have you seen an ear lying about, plus it might smell like sauerkraut?"

The eyeball looked at me and said nothing, absolutely nothing to reply for it was just an eyeball, it could not even sigh. For it just looked at me with a glaze in it's eye as if wondering why it's not in some eyeball pie.

"Oops," I say, "I forgot eyeballs have no lips to speak, but your pupil says that you've seen some things before being ripped out from your owner's skull\u2026 eh, who knows maybe he was dull."

So I went and looked behind the toilet and found a decapitated nipple, "Have you seen an ear?" I asked the nipple as I ate an apple.

The Nipple said, "No, but I've seen some shit, man. You don't realize the shit I've seen, some of it even slips out from in-between the toilet seat and it ain't sweet."

I told him that's not what I'm looking for, not wondering why a nipple could speak, yet I could not help but peek that it had a nipple ring and if you flicked it with your finger it would ding-a-ling.

And so I looked and I looked and finally found the ear\u2026 oh dear, it was in the last place I'd expected it to be\u2026 in my refrigerator on some toast by some freshly made herbal tea just for me.

Anybody want some toast and tea? Nevermind the ear, but the decapitated nose in the Mayo might have something to say so be aware and please do not stare at the booger protruding from it's nostril\u2026 for it might make your nose hairs curl.

And the ear you say? Tasted good with strawberry today\u2026 but the toast was burnt.

The End. \ud83d\udc42

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