Forrest Gump Goes To Heaven

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"Forrest Gump Goes To Heaven"

by: George, just some guy called George

The day finally arrived\u2026 Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.

Saint Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it\u2019s certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we\u2019ve been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The tests are fairly short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven."

Forrest responds, "It shore is good to be here, Saint Peter. I was looking forward to this. Nobody ever told me about any entrance exams. Shore hope the test ain\u2019t too hard\u2026 life was a big enough test as it was."

Saint Peter goes on, "Yes, I know Forrest. But, the test I have for you is only three questions.

Here is the first: What days of the week begin with the letter \u2018T\u2019?

Second, how many seconds are there in a year?

Third, what is God\u2019s first name?"

Forrest goes away to think the questions over. He returns the next day and goes up to Saint Peter to try to answer the exam questions.

Saint Peter waves him up and asks, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."

Forrest says, "Well, the first one\u2026 how many days of the week begin with the letter \u2018T\u2019? Shucks, that one\u2019s easy...that\u2019d be Today and Tomorrow!"

The Saint\u2019s eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest! That\u2019s not what I was thinking, but\u2026 you do have a point though, and I guess I didn\u2019t specify, so I'll give you credit for that answer."

"How about the next one" says Saint Peter, "How many seconds in a year?"

"Now that one\u2019s harder," says Forrest, "But, I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve."

Astounded, Saint Peter says, "Twelve! Twelve! Forrest, how in Heaven\u2019s name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

Forrest says, "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January second, February second, March second...."

"Hold it," interrupts Saint Peter. "I see where you\u2019re going with it. And I guess I see your point, though that wasn\u2019t quite what I had in mind. I\u2019ll give you credit for that one too."

"Let\u2019s go on with the next and final question," says Saint Peter, "Can you tell me God\u2019s first name?"

Forrest says, "Well shore, I know God\u2019s first name. Everybody probably knows it\u2019s Howard."

"Howard?" asks Saint Peter, "What makes you think it\u2019s Howard?"

Forrest answers, "It\u2019s in the prayer."

"The prayer?" asks Saint Peter, "Which prayer?"

"The Lord\u2019s Prayer," responds Forrest, "Our Father, Who art in Heaven, Howard be thy name..."

Saint Peter let him in without another word.

The End. \ud83d\ude07\ud83d\ude4f

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