Its A Moon Dog Christmas
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"It's A Moon Dog Christmas"
by: Wes Robert Ward
"Moon Dog One to Moon Dog Two, have you seen any sign of Santa Claus. Confirmation is needed by Moon Dog Control, please."
"Negative, Moon Dog One, we have not seen the fat old man up here yet, but we've got our eyes open for him. All we've seen is the usual Moon rocks and dust, and a can opener with Buzz Aldrin's name on it."
"Good to know, Moon Dog Two. Keep your eyes open for Frosty the Snowman as well. Some say he's out there with a top hat, a carrot nose, and two eyes made out of coal."
"Will do, Moon Dog One, Roger and out."
And with that said the search begins. We haven't found Santa at the North Pole like we've all believed so the Vice President who's invested all his time in the space program decided a while back that Santa Claus was a extraterrestrial from another planet who hides his tentacles under a bushy white beard and hundreds of years ago he had created his base of operation on the Moon and made people believe it was in the antarctica.
Vice President Joe Blowhard cries out at the Press Conference, "Forget about all the taxpayers complaining of us Democrats taxing them 99% percent more than the average tax, I'm searching for Santa Claus\u2026.
\ud83c\udfb6"Ohhhh, I love to dance a little side step, now they see me now they don't I've come and gone, and ohhhh, I love to sweep around the wide step. Cut a little swath and lead the people on."\ud83c\udfb6
And so it was written and so it shall be done. If Santa isn't on the moon then the search will continue with Mars, asteroids, the space station bathroom, the galaxy itself. Yes, he's out there somewhere oozing green goo and using enough plutonium to create a wormhole into alternate universes with the help of his little green alien Elves.
Blowhard Joe even says, "He's even in front of stores collecting so called donations for charity to fuel his mother ship called Mrs Claus, and his eight reindeer are actually Gamorrean pig guards from Jabba's palace\u2026.
\u2026.so turn on your Christmas lights, folks, and go to sleep on Christmas Eve, because when Santa Claus comes you don't want to be abducted and probed and be brought back next year wrapped under somebody's Christmas tree with duct tape on your mouth."
The End. \ud83c\udf85 "Ho-ho-ho!!!"
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