I Will Name Him George

TAGS:

Download or edit the free picture I Will Name Him George for GIMP online editor. It is an image that is valid for other graphic or photo editors in OffiDocs such as Inkscape online and OpenOffice Draw online or LibreOffice online by OffiDocs.

"I Will Name Him George"

by: Wes Robert Ward

Dear George Washington,

I know it's probably been a long time since anybody wrote you a letter since you died back in 1799 and you probably never thought somebody would write you a letter from the year 2020, but I've got a few things to say to you.

First of all and it must be said to understand the great Man that you were.... what was it like to become the very first President of the United States? Must of been so fly to be the number one guy to run a country. It could of been Canada, but thankfully when we landed at Plymouth Rock it wasn't actually Nova Scotia. Sadly Halifax could of been our Miami, but no half-clad women in bikinis are going to be going up and down that North Beach with polar bears, oh well.

Second of all, did you know your country has turned into shit? Probably not and you probably wouldn't give two chops to a cherry tree to really give a shit either way because you're dead. Sad, but true. You're not just dead, you're bones and dust\u2026 with wooden teeth being chewed on by Termites. Not a pretty picture is it, Mr. President, is it? Dracula never had that problem, but Dracula was a Vampire. Were you a Vampire, George Washington, were you a Vampire? Highly doubtful because if you were then you would of never let poor Abraham Lincoln get assassinated. He had Mary and you had Martha, coincidence I think not for I bet your wife became one of the undead and remarried 42 years later which still would have never broken Elizabeth Taylor's record.

Other than your undead wifey riding a 6'4 mountain every night until that unforgettable last date night at Ford's theater, I mean you did your job. You put our country together piece by piece with the help of many great Presidents like yourself, along with a bunch of useful and useless Presidents that pretty much used the Constitution and the Amendments to wipe their ass with like for example\u2026 John Adams to\u2026 oh, the list is endless.

So George, I just wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart. Not for crossing the Potomac River and winning the Revolutionary War, not for being our first President and creating the United States of America like an Immortal God you are, but becoming a quarter that I needed to get that cold pepsi from that soda machine.

God bless you, George Washington. \ud83d\udcb0

The End. \ud83d\ude09

Free picture I Will Name Him George integrated with the OffiDocs web apps