Sandpaper Hurts
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"Sandpaper Hurts'
by: Wes Robert Ward
Fred yelled, "So what if the bathroom door is locked!!! Can't a man take a dump in peace, holding my privates, squeezing my anal canal, and feeling poop explode from my deep dark asshole?"
Ellen replied through the door, "Honey, I just wanted to tell you that there's no more toilet paper."
"Oh shit," Fred cried then said, "Honey, can you get me some more toilet paper?"
"No," was Ellen's response.
"No!!!" Fred cried out, "Why not?"
Ellen replied through the door, "Well, because I'm leaving you for a woman, you can't satisfy me in bed anymore."
Fred huffed, "That's a low blow for a guy with an ass full of shit on the toilet. Can you at least get me some toilet paper first and then we'll talk about this?"
"What's more important, me or the toilet paper?" cried Ellen.
"Right now?" Fred didn't even hesitate, "The toilet paper!!!"
Ellen replied as she slid something underneath the bathroom door, "Here's some sandpaper, go nuts."
"Oh shit."
The End. \ud83d\udca9
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