The Topic Today Is Trees

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"The Topic Today is Trees"

by: Wes Robert Ward

Did you hear what happened on the news yesterday? It's unbelievable. It's simply amazing and outstanding.

Mankind not only reached the stars in outer-space and performed life saving surgeries, but we've conquered another piece of the puzzle.

Politicians are planting their seeds in the ground to make tree life grow. That's semen in the soil. Sperm to make those ferns grown. Jism to make\u2026 well you get the idea.

Yes, a certain politician had planted a seed which turned into a tree which produced fruit. Not any kind of fruit but the fruit that doesn't taste like fruit but fruit that tastes like a different type of fruit that tastes like SHIT!!!

We call it an Obama Tree. That's right, Barack Obama humped a hole in the ground because he mistook it for Michelle. And in return he made a new type of fruit tree that grow all the way from D.C to Hawaii.

You see these fruit trees grows brown colored fruit that tastes like shit. Yes, the Obama Tree grows more shit fruit than any ordinary apple tree. And if you eat into the core of it then it starts to taste like a monkey's anus. Doesn't sound yummy, does it? To each our own taste I suppose, although if eaten diarrhea explosion is imminent within five minutes.

So Obama we must all thank you, not for running our country almost into another stone age, but creating a new laxative that keeps us squirting for 24 hours straight.

Obama Fruit, yum yum hurts the tum tum. And unlike the Trump Trees nearby that grows golden fruit which tastes very good, sadly it would cost you a million dollars to just eat one. You see the Trump Tree grows big and strong, and will also whistle at any sexy tree nearby that has big tree titties.

And as for the Clinton Bush shrub near the Obama Tree, it's corrupt and tells lies even though it can't talk. It's also over-sexed too, gets everybody high as a kite if smoked, and many weeds spread like cancer all over the forest. One day I walked by it and it wasn't like the Lord's Burning Bush. No, this Clinton Bush shrub asked me telepathically to take an axe to the Trump Tree. But alas I'm no tree assassinator, except for that time I chainsawed the Kennedy Coconut Tree, but it had it coming.

Now let me tell you about the McCain Mango Trees, heard it causes brain tumors. I mean who'd want to eat mangoes off that mother\u2026 ahem, to soon?

Anyway so be careful about some of these new types of trees or shrubs out there. Because if you thought the apple tree in the Garden of Eden was forbidden then I'm sad to tell you that tree couldn't compare to some of the crap that comes off of these trees.

The End. \ud83c\udf34\ud83c\udf32\ud83c\udf33\ud83c\udf31

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