Third Eye
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"Third Eye"
by: Wes Robert Ward
Ever wonder what it would be like to have a third eye? I mean not no ordinary third eye but one in the middle of your forehead.
Just think about it. That third eye would come in useful in so many ways. I mean I can't explain it but it would. Think about the advantage of staring contests with ordinary boring two-eyed people. That middle eye could train your other eyes with intense mental abilities to not blink for three weeks. I think that two-eyed guy would have bloodshot eyes by then.
And wouldn't it be great if we all had an extra nose but that nose wouldn't be on our face. Nope, it be right above our anus and every time we'd fart we'd know what we just ate. I know it sounds disgusting, but think about the advantages of having an anus nose above your asshole. You won't just smell it, but you'll also sneeze shit.
I know food for thought, but it would be pretty interesting. Not to mention if man had ears on his testicles so he could possibly hear himself take a piss every day, not to mention over-hear conspiracy theories from his penis who wants to overthrow the dictator asshole around the corner, and declare democracy in a foreign land filled with shit.
The vagina can stay where it is. Man has not complained about it since Adam humped Eve by the apple tree, although it would be sexy if it spoke like Gilbert Gottfried.
And how about another belly button, but instead of it being on the belly, how about we put one of each under the armpits so every time we deodorize our armpits we also collect some lint.
Wow, we could all be just as fucked up as Frankenstein's Monster. Just imagine if our fingers were on our feet, and our toes were on our hands. And fingernails growing out of our gums instead of teeth, and teeth on the tips of our fingers and toes.
And our genitalia could speak pig latin and sing karaoke, and have the amazing ability to spit into a western spittoon.
Wouldn't all that be amazing? Just as amazing as this marijuana brownie that I'm eating spiked with LSD.
The End. \ud83d\ude33
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