The Killer Washer
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"The Killer Washer"
by: Wes Robert Ward
The Washer, it was cursed by an undead Witch who was over 666 years old. She was pure evil and hated mankind with a vengeance. Causing mayhem and wickedness was her nature in life, she made people's skin crawl when they saw her ugly face.
The Village People of Red Tide, a small town in the state of Oregan had enough and burned her at the stake in the year of our Lord of 1999. All before Jeopardy came on of course, mostly they were cooking hotdogs outside and had a huge stake in the ground to pretty much burn something. And as it happened the Witch was stealing somebody's newspaper from their driveway and they had a good excuse.
And yet, before she died she sent a deadly curse to her Washer for it acted up on her on certain occasions, especially that morning of her death. Yes, Maytag became a man-eating monster. Hungry not just for grimey funky smelly clothes, but for human meat.
First victim was Larry Portman, who had bought the Washer from a Salvation Army. While loading it one day with dirty laundry it suddenly BIT HIS HEAD OFF!!!
Yes, tragically the Coroner declared it an accidental laundry mishap and it was covered up.
A year later the Washer was sold to one Melvin Howard. As he was loading the Washer with his dirty laundry it suddenly BIT HIS RIGHT ARM OFF!!!
Screaming, Melvin fell backwards and tried to crawl away when the Washer hopped forward and BIT HIS LEFT LEG OFF!!!
Melvin died from massive blood loss and upon examination, the Coroner declared the loss of Melvin's appendages a self combustion due to an allergic chemical reaction from the laundry detergent.
The following year tiny Timmy Sands, the only midget in town got the Washer and a week later was never heard from again, and yet as they searched his home for clues someone said they thought they heard the Washer burp.
Year after year there was death due to whoever owned this Washer. Until one day it vanished into the cold dark hills of the Oregan mountains.
A Camper stated one morning that he found a Grizzly Bear's dead carcass without a head and thought he saw a solid white Washer go thumping away into the underbrush. Rangers declared the man mentally unstable and had him committed.
Okay, this is a stupid ass horror story, but seriously be cautious of your Washer because mine almost BIT MY HEAD OFF!!!
The End. \ud83d\ude31
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