Snuffleupagus Prime

TAGS:

Download or edit the free picture Snuffleupagus Prime for GIMP online editor. It is an image that is valid for other graphic or photo editors in OffiDocs such as Inkscape online and OpenOffice Draw online or LibreOffice online by OffiDocs.

"Snuffleupagus Prime"

by: Wes Robert Ward

While having a brisk walk on the planet surface of Snuffleupagus Prime, two explorers search for signs of life. Through a barbaric landscape they travel in hopes of discovering something new and interesting.

The first explorer from Earth was Dr. Zachariah Jones, a physician in all forms of medical science. Brilliant mind, originally from Boston, Massachusetts, yet his home was on Moonbase 5 for the last 20 years or so.

The second explorer from Neptune was Dr. Platopuss, an extraordinary alien scientist. Odd shaped individual with a narrow-shaped brain inside his odd shaped cranium, with a wide torso and belly with thin small arms and legs.

Dr. Jones says, "So I say to her, it's alright to have another glass of wine and she almost gets her blonde curls in an uproar and throws me out saying I'm trying to take advantage of her."

Dr. Platopuss replies, "Nurse Hotlips Ooglesnoople always gets her tentacles too tightly wind. I swear she has a silver spoon up her gastrointestinal region."

"Tell me about it, I try to go third base and she goes psycho-plant on me. Must be her time of the month\u2026 maybe next time I'll slip a little miracle grow in her martian martini."

"Try Laverne and Shirley, the two-headed monster from Saturn. They put out everytime, but bring a lot of vodka. Laverne is a booze hound."

Suddenly they come upon a creature on the ground that is small in form, but has many black tentacles itself flapping and flopping all over the place.

Dr. Jones replies, "Nice, a new type of species. Wonder what we will call it?"

Dr. Platopuss says, "Ooh-ooh, let's call it George."

"George? Why George? Last species you named was Homer. And Homer tried to eat us\u2026 remember he thought we were space donuts\u2026 well, you look like a space donut, I don't."

"I don't know, it looks like a George. I read one of your Earthling comic strips once about a little menace called Dennis. Anyway his neighbor was a Earthman named George."

Dr. Jones looks at Dr. Platopuss, "George Wilson looked nothing like that. He was a fat overweight old man with a mustache and slightly balding hair."

Dr. Platopuss looks at the creature then back at Dr. Jones, "Well maybe this George here shaved off his mustache. Appearances can be deceiving."

The creature spits out something in a craggy voice. As if trying to put in it's two cents into their weird conversation.

Dr. Jones asks, "What did it say? Sounds perplexing to say the least."

Dr. Platopuss says, "I think it said there's a potato rotten in the state of Denmark\u2026 or Darius 5? Mmm, rotten potato. That's my dinner tonight."

The creature hacks up a greasy yellow hairball and says in clean broken English, "Yo I say, what's up, homies? My hizzle is your fizzle."

Dr. Platopuss whispers, "Weird language. Quite a dysfunctional voice pattern too that has slight references from what I have no idea."

Dr. Jones nodded, "Seems familiar though. There was a time on my planet when uneducated people talked like that. It took 2000 years to transform it back to English."

The creature said, "Yo, wanna go back to my crib and do some space crack?"

Dr. Jones says, "Hmm, this one is more odd than that Giraffe-like creature of Icarus 7 that we named Goofy Godzilla."

Dr. Platopuss nodded, "Yes, Goofy Godzilla ate rocks and then did bowel movements all over the ground to grow purple grass. Very edible grass too, I might say. Our Space Cow had no problems with it, although we had purple milk for our Spaceballs cereal for months after\u2026 kind of sweet like sewage if you ask me."

Dr. Jones felt heaves just thinking about it, "I agree and disagree in so many ways."

The creature snapped, "Oh no he didn't. Save some for me, dog. Yo, I got space crack, I got asteroid cocaine, I got heroin from Jupiter, meth from Mars, you name it, I got it. All I ask is some juicy T and A, baby. Break out da humanoid space bitches, oh yeah. And I'll put on some tunes\u2026 you like Milky-way Grand Funk rap? Dat all we play 48-7 here, homies."

Dr. Jones looks at Dr. Platopuss, "Let's leave this dreadful planet. My IQ drops with every minute I'm here. Suddenly I feel like watching ancient 1990s African-American sitcoms and it scares me. I feel in some sense that this creature makes me want to name my next child Will Smith, whoever that is."

Dr. Platopuss nodded, "Yes indeed, besides we have asteroid cocaine on the ship. I'm getting baked tonight and watching Mars mate with Venus."

And as both Doctors walked back to the spaceship the creature cried out, "Come back bros, my home boy Doop Snogg be busting a move tonight. We got da swizzle on a sizzle on a wizzle\u2026."

And that was just one planet among thousands. It's good to know that Earth isn't the most messed up piece of crap planet in existence. There were more.

The End. \ud83c\udf0e

Free picture Snuffleupagus Prime integrated with the OffiDocs web apps