The Toaster
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"The Toaster"
by: Wes Robert Ward
The Toaster said some things. I'm not going to fib or lie. Why should I? It told me that I was going to die. And so it sat very still, idly so. Quite a disservice it made me nervous.
Then it threatened to cut my throat. And eat my heart and liver. But still I just butter my toast, and ignore it, and my microwave's lustful wanton desires which put my scrambled eggs on fire.
Yet suddenly one eerie night giving me horrendous fright when rain and thunder and lightning arose in the darkening sky outside, I lay awake, quite so shaken like the half-eaten bacon. Why so? Well it's because you know my Toaster created arms and legs, and found a dull butter knife to end my life.
Running here and there, running almost everywhere I hid, I tried to hide, and yet it found me every time. Blood dripped from open wounds of mine. Cuts here and there. Gashes as wide as eyelashes on my arms and legs, and littered about was burnt toast and cracked eggs.
And yet it would not kill me. For this I could not understand. And as I laid on a pool of blood, I looked at it and cried, "Why?"
The Toaster opened the front door and said before saying goodbye, "It's because you butter your bread when I like jam instead."
The End. \ud83c\udf5e
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