2014-08-14 14.38.48

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a photo comic

words by Andrew Toskin, writing as Niccolo Florence

photography by hikaru starr

People worry too much about ebola. How long until you catch children?

Here's the original comic script:

Panel 1: HIK_4769 edit.JPG \u2014 silhouetted family on the
beach, with pier and sunset.

\t@Title and Byline
\t\t> Lumps of Clay
\t\twords by Niccolo Florence
\t\tphotography by hikaru starr
\t\thttp://curefornightmares.com

\tcaption: I am no one\u2019s father. (Yet?)

Panel 2: IMG_0587.jpg \u2014 extreme close-up on infant Ema\u2019s face.

\tcaption: But unless or until I succumb, it is my duty
\tto warn you that *children are dangerous.* Stay away
\tfrom them whenever possible.

Panel 3: img_0811.jpg \u2014 Ema in a green hoodie in front of
100 dangling wooden placards.

\tcaption: If you hear any friends or sexual partners talk about
\thow their \u201cbiological clocks are ticking,\u201d leave the area
\tand wash your hands. If they *bring* any children with them,
\timmediately evacuate all childless adults from the vicinity
\tand notify the local authorities.

Panel 4: IMG_8976.jpg \u2014 Ema peeking around the bole of a
tree, with a creepy statue in the background.

\tcaption: Most people are aware of the troubles children
\tcan cause, but many do not understand the full extent
\tof the danger, and so do not take adequate
\tprecautions. Luckily, children do come with a number
\tof warning signs to ward off potential adult
\tcaretakers.

Panel 5: img_0276 roppongi edit.jpg \u2014 Ema\u2019s face covered in red paint(?)

\tcaption: Some of the better known examples include the
\tsmells and noise\u2026

Panel 6: HIK_1878.jpg \u2014 Ema standing on top of a statue,
looking down at us.

\tcaption: Less obvious problems: They are also
\tcodependent, irrational, evil creatures, unable to
\tnegotiate or delay gratification. Anyone who shares a
\thousehold with a child for long will slave their days
\taway to slake ever-changing whims.

Panel 7: IMG_0452.jpg \u2014 Ema with a blue onesie over her
head. Probably the cutest in the set.

\tcaption: Children are precision engineered to brainwash
\tyou into loving them.

Panel 8: DSC_4229.jpg \u2014 Ema running to a seesaw in a park.

\tcaption: They will break your things, and break the
\tbank, and break your dreams, but nothing is worse than
\tthe ways they break your heart.

Panel 9: HIK_4865.jpg \u2014 Ema seen through a kaleidoscope.

\tcaption: Children are the most insidious of parasites:
\tThe longer they stay with you, the deeper their
\ttendrils grow into you, cinching your ribs tighter and
\ttighter around your lungs, slithering into your
\tnervous system until you can scarcely think about
\tanything else \u2014 and then they grow up and leave you.

Panel 10: HIK_0131.jpg \u2014 Ema at a shrine, pouring water
over one hand.

\tcaption: And the hole they leave behind just bleeds and
\tbleeds\u2026

Panel 11: HIK_9941.jpg \u2014 Ema wearing an auburn wig.

\tcaption: This is the worst part of all, something that
\teven most in-patients who have tested positive for
\tchildren may not realize for years.

Panel 12: HIK_9841.jpg \u2014 black and white Ema holding her
hand up to block the camera.

\tcaption: Because you and your child will drive each
\tother crazy. *Someone\u2019s* life is getting ruined, and
\tyou will be terrified that it won\u2019t be yours.

\tcaption: You\u2019ll get in a stupid fight about making the bed or
\tsomething and you\u2019ll both start screaming and throwing
\tthings, and next thing you know it hits me that I\u2019m
\tbecoming my mother, I\u2019m perpetuating the cycle.

Panel 13: HIK_9310.jpg \u2014 Sick Ema in jacket and face mask.

\tcaption: Children are so fragile, so malleable. Soft
\tlumps of clay that mold to the contours of your hand
\tno matter how you try *not* to mold them.

\tcaption: After all my mistakes, will she be okay? Will
\tshe grow up all right?

Panel 14: IMG_0567.jpg \u2014 singer with guitar and mic.

\tcaption: Could the way she sings in the bathroom be a
\tsign that she\u2019ll grow up to be a musician?

Panel 15: IMG_8976.JPG \u2014 A dancer.

\tcaption: A dancer?

Panel 16: _HIK8727_014-2.jpg \u2014 model leaning over glass and handrail.

Panel 17: HIK_5078 raw edit.JPG \u2014 kabuki(?) performer on stage.

\tcaption: Some kind of artist, surely.

Panel 18: HIK_1095.jpg \u2014 Ema, facing away from the camera.

\tcaption: \u2026Will she be happy?

Panel 19: Big, full-page shot. HIK_5285.JPG \u2014 Mysterious portrait of Ema
in a hat and daisy dress at night, looking directly into the camera.

\tcaption: \u2026She isn\u2019t even my daughter. I\u2019ve only met
\ther once. Yet I already love her so much it hurts. I
\tworry having a child of my own would *destroy* me.

END.

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