Scotch Tape

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"Scotch Tape"

by: Wes Robert Ward

We all knew he was going to do it and yet we couldn't stop him. It was unavoidable and he went and did it anyway.

No not suicide. That is so wrong in so many ways, but what he did could also be just as bad. I mean wow, he really did it.

You see Jimmy Simpson scotch taped up his face and head. I mean what the heck, man? I mean what kind of moron does that? I guess apparently an idiot named Jimmy.

Jimmy had gone to his local dollar store and bought up all the cheap ass scotch tape he could find then had driven to his nearby local pub for a pint of beer.

And as he sat at the bar sipping his beer he started scotch taping his face up and looking like the Elephant Man in the end, shoot Joseph Merrick was less disfigured and drunk.

All conversations stopped in the pub as many of his friends and complete strangers watched Jimmy scotch tape up his face and head.

From nose to chin to eyebrows to ears to hair to back of head and pretty much all around Jimmy just scotch taped up his face and head.

After Jimmy guzzled the best he could of the rest of his beer and then asked Eddie the bartender for another.

Eddie gave him another beer and said, "Uh Jimmy, you okay? What's with the scotch tape?"

Jimmy took another gulp around the scotch tape and said, "Oh nothing really, my wife made me get a vasectomy and it hurts like bloody hell so I thought a beer and scotch tape might ease the pain."

Eddie replied, "Uhhh okay, but don't you think you've got the scotch tape in the wrong place?"

Jimmy cried out, "Are you kidding? With all the duct tape down there!!!"

The End. \ud83c\udf7a

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