Name: 1992 $1,000 Bill
Brand: OffiDocs
SKU: 1a12f928e81a84ec479c5470da3a4003
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Your name has been selected as the lucky recipient of the OM-MADNI-PAD-NAM Award for Profane-Celestial Works of Meandering Profundity.

As such you re selected as the avatar of the Dali-Lama's third cousin's left testicle.

This entitles you to have infinite access to the ethereal resources of the planet Earth.

Among these Holy Gifts are:

- All the air you can breath

- Magnetic attraction to the sacred worm and clam

- Optional Hair on your palms and forehead

- 2 Free bowel movements in the nearest public place.

Participation in the OMPN also forbids you from profiting from your genetic link to the deity.

Alas we bid you good fortune in the world of dogs and man.

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