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For Your Eyes Only

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"For Your Eyes Only'

by: Wes Robert Ward

Ever wonder why we have two eyes instead of one? It could of been because of God or a biological incident that involved a Chicken, a theory of Charles Darwin on a bizarre drunken night in a Chicken Coop.

Eyes are weird aren't they? Odd & opal, white & gooey like a boiled peeled egg, but if you rub tartar sauce in it'll burn like hell.

Mythologically speaking for example, people think Cyclops are freaks of nature because they only have one eye, but they see into the future and see their own death which is frightening if you ask me. Just imagine that arrow flying into your eye as you foresee your own death on your fourth birthday party. Happy Birthday, Billy, you're gonna die in twenty years with a steel-tipped arrow embedded through your eye deep into your brain.

And those with three eyes are bigger freaks because they have two ordinary eyes with an extra right smack in the middle of their forehead. The Hindu Indian would praise such a character as that and honor them with their sacred Cow.

But us ordinary humans with our ordinary two eyes aren't freaks of nature because Christians think we're created by God's perfect image of us. I find that very strange indeed even selfish. I like to think that an eye or two or three or ten should be anywhere we desire it to be no matter what our one and only God thinks it should be created on our face.

You know what? I know this could be labeled as sacrilegious & non religious, but I wish I had two extra eyes, but not on my face. I want one on each of my buttocks. I mean especially if you're in prison it'll come in handy if you drop the soap.

Or how about an eye on each one of our palms of our hands. It'll be a bitch to hold a Spanish onion.

Or how about an eye each on the bottom of our feet. You'll see yourself step in dog shit before it happens.

How about an eye each on Man's testicles.... us men will think that thing hanging in the middle is our nose but this one pisses and shoots semen unlike the ordinary nose we know so well unless you're Cyrano de' Bergerac.

And if we're going this far how about an eye in the pee-hole of a penis. Talk about an f-up porno.... watch out for that eye in that butthole as it winks at you.

The Eye in the Female Vagina would be freaky too, but Man would poke at it no matter what because Man gets so horny that Man would hump a hole in the ground. That's why the Black Man's dick is so black or brown.... okay, I won't go there.

Now as all of you close your eyes tonight, think about all this and imagine where your eyes would be tomorrow morning. For tomorrow morning they may be on your tits.

Eye-Titties, sounds nice doesn't it?

This has been a delusional rant by yours truly after putting medicated eye-drops in my eyes laced with medical marijuana.

The End. \ud83d\udc40

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